Pavlos (pavlos) wrote,
Pavlos
pavlos

Update, what update?

Hello, it's me. I'm in a bad mood in Belgium. Recently I've been travelling all over the place and seeing interesting things, however I feel as if this is happening to someone else and I'm just along for the ride. Like "Oh, Pavlos is in Vegas. How odd. Let's open the eyes and take a look at it then". I'm trying to live my life independently of my physical movements, with modest success.

It seems that my well known knack for pissing people off, the more so the more I'm fond of them, is reaching new heights. Hence the bad mood - I'm annoyed with myself. Various other minor things are wrong too, so overall I'm having a grumpy week for unimportant reasons. I'm sorry for the lack of any single, sympathy-enticing central problem to report.

I recently got a new project at work, partly as a result of asking for it loudly and at length. I'm very pleased with this because it's hard and interesting, but it also affects me. It makes me look at everything as a task to be organised with ruthless efficiency (*) and reinforces the feeling of living in the gaps of a calendar. Ah well... you get what you ask for.

Somehow all this gravitates around a question in my mind, which I'm desperately avoiding. The question is: "How old am I?". I know the physical answer, of course, but I feel the subjective answer has changed recently and I'm not sure that is a pleasant feeling. I feel I must have ticked the box that said "By proceeding I acknowledge that my subjective age will grow by X years" while thinking it was something about spam.

At least in Vegas the weather was dry and I had good hair. That must be a good thing.

(*) - Yes, I can in fact organise things efficiently when it comes to work. What are you laughing about :-)
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